But Cachia, who is 25 and also has a 2-year-old son, told TODAY Parents that she doesn’t have much choice but to tell people early. "One in four pregnancies end in miscarriage… I think it’s a huge problem that society makes some women feel like they have to keep their pregnancies and their miscarriages hidden away.”Ĭachia’s announcement created a small firestorm among her readers, some of whom thought she was announcing her pregnancy too early. “Can’t we as women have control over our bodies and thus make our own decisions?” she wrote. ![]() (See our piece on talking to your child about how babies are made for tips.In her post for Australian website Mamamia, Cachia wrote, “Am I apparently in the clear and past the sacred 12-week mark? No.” She then went on to explain that although “societal norms prevent us from freely announcing pregnancy until after the 12-week mark,” she felt it was important to her to share the news early. You don't need to overload her with facts if she's not interested.īut be prepared for her to ask how the baby got in there. If you accept your child's difficult feelings, it will be much easier for her to discover that she also has excited feelings.Īfter that, let your child decide how much more information she wants. Let her know that sometimes people feel both happy and sad about having a baby. Do you want to tell me about your feelings?" If your child seems confused or upset about your news, say "It looks like you're feeling confused or upset. Even if that person already knows about the pregnancy, your child will feel like she has an important role in letting the rest of the world know about her new sibling. If she's excited, you may want to suggest that she be the one to tell Grandma and Grandpa or some other important person. Your child may not have much of a reaction to the initial announcement or she may be quite excited or a little anxious. You can associate the time of the birth with something that's familiar to her, such as the season or a holiday or some other event, but she may not fully understand the pregnancy timeline. Keep in mind that your child may not understand how long it will take for the baby to arrive. You are going to have a little sister (or brother) next spring."įor more tips on explaining pregnancy and birth to a child, see our piece on how to talk to your child about how babies are made. For example, "Right now, there's a baby growing in Mommy's tummy. When you're ready to tell your child about the pregnancy, keep the language positive, simple, and straightforward. But then I was happy to have someone to play with." (Make something up if you don't remember and keep it generally positive.) You might tell them about how you felt about your siblings when you were a child: "When my mom and dad first brought my brother home, I wasn't too sure about it. Or you might talk about some of your child's friends and their little siblings and then say, "Someday you may have a little brother or sister, too."Ĭhildren love to hear about what their parents were like when they were little. ![]() You might want to start reading her some of the many children's books about siblings. Weeks before you tell your child about the pregnancy, it's a good idea to start laying the groundwork. Find a calm period when your child will have time to process the news and ask questions - avoid transition times like bedtime or before school. When you're ready to tell, choose a time to talk about it when your child is relaxed and not dealing with any other stressful changes, such as starting school or getting over a cold. In any case, it's better not to attribute your symptoms to the pregnancy, so your child doesn't blame the new baby for Mom feeling bad or not being able to play. If you have to explain why you're nauseated, achy, or fatigued before you're ready to announce the pregnancy, it's fine to just tell your child that you're tired or not feeling well. It's best if she hears about a new sibling from you and not from the neighbors. Once you've told her, she'll want to share the news (and you don't want to have to ask your child to keep a secret).Īnd once you've told all your friends and family, it'll be much harder to keep the information from your child because people will want to congratulate you and talk about the pregnancy. You'll probably want to let your child know at about the same time you announce your pregnancy to the rest of the world.
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